The Running With Scissors team on Postal III
Feature
The Postal series has been widely regarded as one of the most controversial videogame series out there. We got in contact with the Running With Scissors team and asked them about the upcoming Postal III
Vince Desi: It mostly sucked. I think it had real potential and actually hit alot of key points of what Postal and RWS are all about. But from a production standpoint, the main problem in my opinion is that it was 10+ minutes to long, and of course the acting and special effects could have been better, not to mention the script was at times too wordy for my taste.
Mike Jaret: Come on Vin...youve seen some of the other movies Uwe shit into existence and POSTAL was by far the most well made movie he has ever made. It wasn’t amazing, but then again neither was POSTAL 2.....or POSTAL 1.....so it fits right in!
Steve Wik: Aw, Postal wasn’t THAT bad! Look, I laughed at least four times, which is more than any Adam Sandler movie I’ve ever seen. I do resent the fact that Uwe kept the ninjas and orks that can tunnel underground like Bugs Bunny for In The Name Of The King, though. Postal would have been totally batshit insane if it had ninjas and Bugs Bunny orks…
Tim Wambolt: I couldn’t tell you, I only saw the first part of the movie. When they showed Dave Foley’s penis I got kicked out of the theatre for a Pee Wee Herman incident.
Joe Cerniglia: Watch it dubbed in a different language and you can pretend it’s a foreign film...makes as much sense. I agree with Steve though, Uwe needed to get in touch with his inner crazy for the film to work.
Jon Merchant: I liked it, a firm 7/10 for me. It probably helps that my expectations could not be lower before I saw it.
Hooked Gamers: There have been some rumours going around about the cast of celebrities that will appear in the game. Who will be there? Will we get to kill any of them? Will we perhaps get the chance to mow down the entire Running with Scissors development team again?
Mike Jaret: We are always available to kill in the game....as far as celebs go, we got the cowboy from the Village People (Randy Jones)....as well as a well known male porn star.....
Tim Wambolt: Did you hear that Nintendo? Male porn stars and Randy Jones? I’m definitely going to need a wiimote for this game!
Steve Wik: Yeah, it is a point of honor for us to be killable in-game! We also tried to get Cliffy B, but he wanted to be magically immune to urine. Considering what we know about Mark Rein, maybe it was just a little too close to home…
Joe Cerniglia: Sadly, no Gary. I could kill him all day.
Jon Merchant: Being British, I'm in there to ensure an even spread of Minorities to kill
Hooked Gamers: There were several hate groups in Postal 2 (clearly modelled on real-life activist groups) who caused the player an unprecedented amount of grief and a corresponding amount of joy when he got to pick up arms against them. Will that still be the case in Postal III and what groups will you focus on?
Steve Wik: Yes, this is an important aspect of what POSTAL is all about! This time you’ll get to dish out some pain to Hockey Moms, Ecotologists (a zesty blend of Scientology and eco-fanaticism), Toy collector nerds, gay Segway “biker” gangs, and Al Qaeda, as well as the usual unsuspecting bystanders and authority figures.
Tim Wambolt: That’s cool too because most video games are against Gang Bangers! What’s wrong with Gang Bangers? Oh... they meant thugs? Yeah, they suck in the negative meaning of the word!
Jon Merchant: Of course, because not everyone has it in them to mow down virtual innocent bystanders, there has to be a bunch of guys dressed exactly the same as each other to remove the humanity from them.
Hooked Gamers: How do you think Postal III will be received by the general public when it’s released? Do you think it will get the same reaction from Australia and New Zealand, who banned Postal 2 when it was released?
Vince Desi: Great question, wish I had the answer. I do believe we are in the best position ever because POSTAL III is going to be the best Postal game by far, and with our loyal fans we are confident that we will make history with POSTAL III. As for the politicians around the world who dictate what their citizens can see, play, listen to –their day of reckoning is coming, we have no fear of the truth.
Steve Wik: PIII will be so well received that Obama will declare Champ’s (The Postal Dude’s pitbull) birthday a national holiday and the European union will shower us with hookers and high grade medical chronic. Veronica Belmont and Olivia Munn will have my babies. White trash parents will name their kids “Dude” and “Krotchy” and those kids will routinely harass and beat up all the nerd-kids named “Anakin” and “Amidala”. Red Lobster will introduce a Larry the Crab meal. The world economy will enter a new golden age, racism will unexpectedly die, Democrats and Republicans will learn to coexist in peace, dogs and cats will live together and Pat Robertson will grow a tiny, tiny withered heart like the Grinch and realize what a raging douchetard he is. You’re Welcome.
Tim Wambolt: Speaking of Obama, why does he only get credit for being the first black president, but not for being the first gay President? I mean come on, the guy married Wayne Brady!
Joe Cerniglia: Australia seems to be banning everything nowadays. I blame Paul Hogan.
Jon Merchant: That greatly depends on what's going on in the news at the time of release and if someone is looking for something to blame for it.
Hooked Gamers: Is the monkey still in there? It rocked. Did he learn any new tricks?
Mike Jaret: Monkey throw poo and fuck face....FUNNY!
Tim Wambolt: My monkey does tricks, when I get a halfsies it does an great impersonation of Captain Hook’s hand!
Joe Cerniglia: Our monkey will f*&k you up.
Jon Merchant: BTW, monkey is one of the reasons third person is a good idea.
Hooked Gamers: Did you have the budget for a pigeon mission?
Vince Desi: We share toilet paper that’ how thin the budget is, and that’s no joke.
Mike Jaret: Well i wouldn’t say we SHARE toilet paper, but we definitely split the two ply so we have twice as much...but pigeons are a definite MAYBE!
Tim Wambolt: Yeah we don’t exactly share toilet paper, however when Mike’s done masturbating into a Kleenex I usually use that same Kleenex afterwards if there are no mustaches available.
Steve Wik: unfortunately, we loaned the Pigeons to 3DRealms and now nobody answers our calls.
Joe Cerniglia: 3rd rule of Postal- you do not talk about the Pigeon mission.
Jon Merchant: They drafted me from the U.K safe in the knowledge that their toothpaste and soap supplies would not be in jeopardy.
Hooked Gamers: It is our tradition to give developers a chance to say something about the game that they are desperate to get out. Is there anything burning on your lips?
Tim Wambolt: Thank you for giving us the opportunity to side-step all of your questions, we enjoyed giving you the runaround!
Mike Jaret: Thank you 3DRealms for being so fucking gay and ruining my 11+ year old dream to play Duke Nukem Forever. I also want to thank them for making all of our accomplishments seem that much more monumental, as it’s not very hard to shit out a moderate to great game and have some success...of course youd think we would have shit something out by now eh? ONE LOVE!
Vince Desi: RWS is not about the standard bullshit that the industry forces on developers, the plain fact is we want to release a great game, this is our first time on console, so we are doing everything we can to make it the absolute best POSTAL experience of their lives.
Sure, if we had Activision sucking our dicks with cash lips we would have a much easier time, but then there would be no POSTAL III, so we prefer to do it our way.
THANKS
Vince Desi
Steve Wik: LOL Sorry, I’m laughing too hard at that “sucking our dicks with cash lips” thing to think of anything brilliant to say…
Joe Cerniglia: That rash cleared up (f&*ing Mike) and I still like soup.
Jon Merchant: Postal 2's community is relativity small but strong, with players that have been involved in the MP and Modding communities for many years. I strongly hope that with the bigger exposure that Postal 3 will get, that many more can join the Postal Zeitgeist and appreciate it for what it is: a fun game that doesn't take anything seriously. As you can see, we don't take you too seriously!
Hooked Gamers: Thank you guys!